16 great jokes about marriage

Marriage Jokes

When i was organising many singles party, the conversation among people who meet for the first time usually centered around challenges of relationship.  Here are some of the popular one-liner which can break ice easily.

1. Marriage is not a word. It’s a sentence…(a life sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind  Therefore  marriage is an institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his  Bachelor’s Degrees and the woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three ring circus:  engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBORS listen.

6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

7. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?

Father: I don’t know son, I’m still paying for it.

8. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in China , a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her.

Father:  That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

9. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

10. They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage…it is self defense.

11. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But, when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

12. Eighty percent of married man cheat in America , the rest cheat in Europe.

13. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.

14. Before marriage, a man ‘yearns’ for the woman he loves. After the marriage, the “Y” becomes silent.

15. It’s not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.

16. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure for one thing…either the car is new or the wife is.:)

 

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