16 great jokes about marriage

Marriage Jokes

When i was organising many singles party, the conversation among people who meet for the first time usually centered around challenges of relationship.  Here are some of the popular one-liner which can break ice easily.

1. Marriage is not a word. It’s a sentence…(a life sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind  Therefore  marriage is an institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his  Bachelor’s Degrees and the woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three ring circus:  engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBORS listen.

6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

7. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?

Father: I don’t know son, I’m still paying for it.

8. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in China , a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her.

Father:  That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

9. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

10. They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage…it is self defense.

11. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But, when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

12. Eighty percent of married man cheat in America , the rest cheat in Europe.

13. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.

14. Before marriage, a man ‘yearns’ for the woman he loves. After the marriage, the “Y” becomes silent.

15. It’s not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.

16. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure for one thing…either the car is new or the wife is.:)

 

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The most special cruise trip – Singles Cruise Asia (6-10 Dec, 2010)

Though I have done 4 singles cruise in Singapore – dating@sea from 2007-2009, the wonderful experience from this 1st ever Singles Cruise Asia is unlike any other.

I was first approached by Timothy Low and wife Tamie from Malaysia to be co-marketing partners in Singapore. The original idea was to gather singles from Malaysia and Singapore.

We had tremendous media support and coverage – http://www.singlescruiseasia.com/video-gallery/

Our itinerary for 5D/4N can be found – http://www.singlescruiseasia.com/itinerary/

Over 5 days, we had 10 programs from 4 Guru: Heiko and Selina (Relationship and Release Coaches), Murshidah Said (Image Coach & Consultant) and myself Andrew Chow (Dating Coach)

This is the 1st cruise for singles I see everyone has a camera, very eager to take pictures alone or in groups. All of them dress for the occasion for different theme of Gala Dinner for every night. We took part 100% in all program and very proactive in discussion until 1.30am in the morning. The chemistry and bonding was fantastic. The sharing and gift exchange on the very last night was a touching moment. Tears were shed, hugs were everywhere, gifts were lovingly exchanged. I am sure the Gurus ourselves find this very fulfilling, a sense of achievement and satisfaction that money cannot buy. Everyone isn’t shy about sharing. There is no taboo or stigma, just meaningful friendship forged for a long time to come. This is something I have NEVER see in the past cruises which I did before. Perhaps I was only concerned about the events management rather than the fulfillment of the guests on board. It gave me a new perspective and mission in my future approach for giving opportunities for singles’ interaction.

I have made 4 videos for the 4 days of our wonderful experience and hope you will be inspired to join us in 2011, we will always organise weekend trips to exotic places in Thailand and Malaysia for those who are not really into cruise holidays.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dxqLvvjTKA&fs=1&hl=en_US]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Jsy_tFeaRo&fs=1&hl=en_US]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=424op53iXU4&fs=1&hl=en_US]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQJZgYCfJkA&fs=1&hl=en_US]

My workshop presentation can be found here :

7 Qualities to look for in a Life Partner

[slideshare id=3632796&doc=7qualitiestolookfor-100404065441-phpapp01]

8 Types of Relationship which wont work
[slideshare id=2972701&doc=8typesofrelationshipswhichwontwork-100122092403-phpapp01]

5 Compatibility Time-Bomb
[slideshare id=4597895&doc=5relationshipcompatibilitytimebombs-100623231845-phpapp01]

Lastly, for those of you who wish to know how to organise your own speed dating event, check out this video of mine,

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdngutnYjcY&fs=1&hl=en_US]

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Singles Cruise Asia (6-10 Dec) – Royal Carribean – Legends of the Sea

Below are the program itineraries for Singles Cruise Asia. The Organizer and all the Gurus have designed these programs to enhance and make your Singles Cruise Asia Vacation a memorable and a life changing experience.

Program 1 : Image & Your True Colours by Image Guru, Murshidah Said

Program 2 : The Power Of Releasing by Love Gurus, Heiko & Selina Niedermeyer

Program 3 : How to Attract The Opposite Sex – Male Only – A Male by Birth. But a Man by Choice by Date Coach, Andrew Chow

Program 3 : How to Attract The Opposite Sex – Female Only by Love Guru, Selina Niedermeyer

Program 4 : Get together to Attract The Opposite Sex by Love Guru, Selinar Niedemeyer & Date Coach, Andrew Chow

Program 5 : Brand Yourself and Be Attractive by Image Guru, Murshidah Said

Program 6 : Different stages of dating : Casual, Exclusive & Intimate by Date Coach, Andrew Chow

Program 7 : Harnessing Your Sexuality by Love Gurus, Heiko & Selina Niedermeyer

Program 8 : The Complete Transformation (R&R) – by Love Gurus, Image Guru and Date Coach

Program 9 : Speed Dating- Mix and Match, Meet & Mingle by Date Coach, Andrew Chow

Program 10 : The New You by Image Guru, Murshidah Said

Games :
Game 1 : Ice Breaker – Human Bingo by Timothy Low & Andrew Chow
Game 2 : Dance Workshop by James & Audrey Thum
Game 3 : Locks & Keys by Love Gurus, Image Guru and Date Coach

Theme Dinners :
Day 1 : Angel White Night
Day 2 : Masquerade
Day 4 : Glitzy Celebrity

Come join in the fun and learn together with us! See you on board Singles Cruise Asia 2010!

Book Now! Visit : www.singlescruiseasia.com/singapore
Email : andrew@tableforsix.sg

Information required :

1. Name

2. Passport

3. Expiry date

4. Nationality

5. DOB in full

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NTV7 – Interview : 8 types of Relationship which wont Work by Andrew Chow

On 23 Sep, I was back on NTV7 Breakfast Show program to continue part 2 of my 4-part interview on Date Coaching.

The topic is “8 types of Relationship which wont work“. So check if you are in one of them while dating.

This is the introduction of Host Naz and Hassen on 23 Sep

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuWWNdHJhRY&fs=1&hl=en_US]

The actual interview in 2 parts

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YDwXMNdr1I&fs=1&hl=en_US]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yObpMWvy3hU&fs=1&hl=en_US]

The workshop material is available on Slideshare

[slideshare id=2972701&doc=8typesofrelationshipswhichwontwork-100122092403-phpapp01]

Summary:

8 Types of Relationship that wont work

Most people put in more time and effort deciding what kind of car or stereo system to buy than deciding whom to have a relationship with.

Many choose the wrong partner and then wonder why their relationship isn’t working.

Whatever religion you believe in, God doesn’t choose your mate for you!

The 3 Deadly Myths about Love

Love myths are beliefs that many of us have about love and romance that actually prevent us from making intelligent love choices

1.       Watching television programs and movies.

2.       Reading romantic novels.

3.       Never taught about love.

Myth #1 : True romantic love conquers all

1.       You wont deal with real relationship problem

2.       You hurt  yourself up emotionally whenever things turn sour

3.       Romance and courtship are not enough to make a relationship work – relationships need compatibility  and  commitment

Myth #2 : You’ll know true love at first sight

1.       You may ignore the rest of the relationship

2.       You may miss the chance for real, lasting love

It takes just a moment to experience infatuation, but true love takes time

3.       You may become infatuated with just an stranger

Myth #3 : The Perfect partner will fulfill your completely

The right partner will fulfill many of your needs but not all of them!

If you feel emotionally empty before you start a relationship, you will feel just as empty even when you are in a relationship!

What are the 8 Types of Relationships That Wont Work?

1.       You care more about your partner than he/she does for you.

2.        You are in love with your partner’s potential

3.       You are on a rescue mission.

People who are on a emotional rescue missions often mistaken sympathy  for love.

The person you choose to love must be someone you can feel respected for, and be proud of who he/she is.

4.       You look up to your partner as a role model

a.       The only way your relationship can work is if you love and appreciate yourself as much as you love and admire him

b.      And your partner must be willing to stop functioning as your mentor.

5.       You are infatuated with your partner for  external reasons

6.       You and your partner are really “ activities buddies”

7.       You choose a partner in order to be rebellious. You act out of compulsion and not out of reason.

8.       Your partner is unavailable

  • Definition of being available  : Free to be in a relationship with you, not involved with anyone else, not married, not engaged, not going steady; not sleeping with another person, alone, single, all yours.

The following are not definitions of available:

  • With someone, but he promises to break up with her soon
  • With someone, but he doesn’t really love her
  • With someone, but she knows about you and it’s all right
  • With someone and he isn’t leaving her, but wants you to stick around anyway.

Stay away from people who are married or in other relationships!

When you get involved with someone who is in a relationship with another person, you are accepting that person’s leftover

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The Story of Table For Six LLP

Not many will believe a company with less than 2 months from incorporation will make news in the media. Ardor LLP is one company which has done that and more….

Date of registration : 16 Jan 2009

Wan Bao – 13 Feb 2009

Lianhe Wanbao about SBC – 8 March 2009
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdKTeb4JLfY&hl=en&fs=1&]

** Ardor LLP (www.ardor.com.sg) was featured on-air, online, on-print, in total about 8 times in the first 60 days in business.

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