How to establish rapport with 9 different personality types

by Andrew Chow | July 4, 2019

The Enneagram is a system of personality development with ancient roots, based on what we can observe about how people think, feel, and behave. The word Enneagram comes from the Greek. ‘Ennea’ means nine and ‘gram’ means something written or drawn. The Enneagram is a nine-pointed figure drawn to represent the nine types of people and their relationship to one another

Type 1 – Mr Reformer is realistic, conscientious, and principled. They strive to live up to their high ideals. Being self-disciplined and working hard are his virtues.  They are always striving to be the best to bring out the best in their partner. The flip side is the high standard he has often make him disappointed with himself and his partner.  The way to establish rapport with Mr Perfectionist is to share his responsibility and never let him feel he is doing all the way. Acknowledge his achievement often, re-assure him he is doing well, and remind him you value his advice.

Type 2 – Mr Helpful is warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people’s needs. He can relate easily to people and to make friends. He finds it very hard to say NO to anyone and often suppress their own feeling, and may eventually feel drained of over helping you. The way to get along with him is to tell him how much you appreciate him and be specific about it. Try to take great interest in his problem. If you really need to criticize him, be very gentle in your approach.

Type 3 – Mr Achiever is energetic, optimistic, self-assured and goal-oriented. They are able to recover from setback quickly and be driven again. They have no problem motivating you in life. However, they have little patience with people who are inefficient. They love to compare themselves with those who fare better in life, due to the struggle they have in hanging on to success. If you are dating Mr Achiever, you should leave him alone when he is busy with his work, try not to burden him with negative emotions unless you really need to share.

Type 4 – Individuals have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive. He is often creative and has ability to find meaning in life. Being perceptive and sensitive, they are able to pick up your feeling easily. However, they often very hurt when you misunderstand him. They may take a long time to forgive and forget. The way to connect with him is to be a supportive partner. Compliments means the world to him, as the world revolve around them. Never tell him he is too sensitive.

Type 5 – Investigators have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical, and insightful. Mr Observer is able to stand back and view life objectively, very calm in a crisis. However, they are often seen as “slow” in showing their knowledge and insight to you. At the same time, they cannot stand other with less skills and talent doing better than them.  When you communicate with him, be brief and straightforward. Always remember, when he seems aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that he is just feeling uncomfortable.

Type 6 – Loyalists are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontational. Their weakness is procrastination mainly due to the fear of failure. They wear themselves out by too much worrying. To build rapport with Mr Loyalist, you need to be direct and clear. Do not judge him for his anxiety, assuring him consistently that everything is OK.

Type 7  – Adventurers are energetic, lively, and optimistic. They want to contribute to the world. Optimistic and spontaneous, they are usually outspoken. However, they always find not enough time to do all the things they want. They seldom finish what they started probably due to lack of focus. To get along with Mr Adventure, you need to engage with stimulating conversation and share plenty of laugher. Listen to his stories, appreciate his vision and do not try to change him.

Type 8 – Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective. They always take charge and meet challenges head on. He may be extremely protective over you while being straightforward and honest. However, at times, he overwhelms others with his bluntness and drives others away inadvertently. May be extremely impatient at times and put too much pressure on himself. The way to connect with Mr Asserter is to be confident, strong and direct. Share your fears and give him space to be alone.

Type 9 – Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them. Often non judgemental and very concerned about others around him. Has ability to see your side of the argument most of the time. However, they are confused about what they really want and often feel they are not being taken seriously. If you want him to do something, the way you ask is very important. He doesnt like expectations or pressure. Give him time to arrive at a decision.

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